A Good Day Gone Bad
by Aussie73
Summary: I think the title says it all! Daniel and Vala. Jack and Sam.
1. Chapter 1

_Set in the future — Season 10-ish. Please note that I haven't seen S9 yet (am on wrong side of the pond), so if I get characterizations wrong, forgive me! Sort of a sequel to my fics 'A To Z', 'Coffee And Conversation' and 'Turning The Tables', but you don't need to have read those to understand this. However, if you want to, I'm not going to stop you (hint, hint, hint!)._

* * *

Doctor Daniel Jackson was in a really good mood. He'd finally found a coffee house that made the perfect latté, no-one had tried to kill him for several months, and next week he would depart on the _Daedalus_ for a month-long dig in the Ida galaxy. Bliss. 

"Morning, Daniel."

The other reason he was in such a good mood lately. "Morning, Sam."

Jack O'Neill and Sam Carter — two of his greatest friends in the whole universe — had finally quit kidding themselves and gotten their acts together. They'd now been married just over four months, and Sam was six months pregnant. With twins. Jack had worn the biggest most stupid grin Daniel had ever seen for two days straight after Doctor Lam had given him that little gem.

He smiled at the blonde scientist. Sam had always been a beautiful woman but now … now she was truly happy. And it showed. Daniel was no fonder of clichés than Jack, but she truly glowed. Jay Felger had gotten even more tongue-tied around her lately — possibly scared of the wrath of Jack O'Neill if he flirted.

Yet Jack was a surprisingly unpossessive husband. He was secure in Sam's love for him and was thrilled at his second chance at a family. Daniel had met the man just after Charlie's death and had witnessed him change gradually from the suicidal angry man he had been to the happy contented family man he now was. Pain in the ass that he often was, Jack deserved happiness. Perhaps more than anyone Daniel had ever known.

Jack was still Head of Homeworld Security, although he'd been making increasingly loud noises about retiring — noises to which the President and the Joint Chiefs turned an amiably deaf ear. They'd even placed something called a 'stop loss' on his file for the next year, meaning that Jack wouldn't be allowed to retire. The only way out of the Air Force for him would be desertion; which would mean court martial and jail.

Jack had not been a happy camper when he'd learned of the 'stop loss', but Sam, Daniel and Teal'c had managed to convince him he was too young to retire, anyway.

"Unauthorized off-world activation!" the PA rang out. "All defense units on stand-by!"

Daniel skipped neatly to one side and tugged Sam with him as a bunch of SFs flooded down the corridor toward the embarkation room. "Huh; wonder who we've managed to piss off this time?" he commented wryly.

Sam chuckled at that comment. "I think you've spent way too much time with Jack," she said affectionately.

Maybe. Daniel knew he'd changed a lot since he'd met then Colonel Jack O'Neill over a decade ago. He'd hardened — and not just in the physical sense. But he'd only truly realized it when Cameron had called him a damn good soldier.

Doctor Daniel Jackson. The man with the perpetually-sliding glasses and allergies. The man who'd barely known which way to point a gun ten years ago had become a soldier.

A few years ago, he might have been offended at being likened to a soldier. But he now had a great respect for the military establishment and was honored to be associated with the brave and noble people who made up the SGC.

"Doctor Jackson to the embarkation room!" the PA barked out.

Daniel smiled at Sam as she went off to her own lab — she'd stopped going off-world last month — and headed for the embarkation room. He strolled in and approached Cameron. "Hey, Cam," he offered. "What's going on?"

Cameron Mitchell, SG-1's co-commander, looked at Daniel and sighed tiredly before stepping to one side. "Look who's back," he said.

"Daniel Jackson," said a very familiar, very purring voice.

Vala Mal Doran.

Daniel sighed heavily and looked at Vala's beautiful face. She was a thief, a liar, a certifiable whack-job. But, God help him, she was sexy as hell. "What d'you want?" he asked rudely. He couldn't help it; she brought out the worst in him.

The lithe woman tossed her long black hair and pouted. "That's not a very nice welcome after so long apart, Daniel," she said, a small smile tilting her lips. She sashayed over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I've missed you."

He slid out of her grasp. "The feeling's not mutual," he assured her, glaring at her.

"Fine!" Vala said. "I have some intelligence on the Ori, but if you're not interested …". She looked around the embarkation room, seeming to enjoy the Daniel/Vala show.

Cameron sighed this time — funny how this woman brought that out in everyone. "Vala; you know the routine," he said. "Report to the Infirmary, then we'll debrief."

Vala smiled — a dazzling one that made half the SFs simply gape. "Yes, Commander!" she said, throwing him a mocking salute.

Another sigh. "That's Colonel, Vala," Cameron said patiently.

Vala shrugged. "I keep seeing you in black leather and being a Commander." Her dark eyes raked his form lustily and Daniel snickered when the bold, brave Lieutenant Colonel took a step backward. "You'd look very sexy all in leather, Colonel — ever thought about it?"

"Daniel!" Cameron sighed. "Take Vala to the Infirmary, then escort her to the briefing room. I'll go speak to the General."

* * *

"God; I wish I wasn't stuck in DC!" Major General Jack O'Neill complained. "I'd love to meet this woman who has Daniel so in knots!" 

"I know," Sam consoled him from her phone at the SGC. "I'll take notes, though."

"It isn't the same," her husband said childishly. "Hmmm … I haven't dropped by for a while. And there's those quarterly statistics I need to review with Hank."

"Jack … you don't need to fly here just for that," Sam warned. He could be such a child at times.

"I haven't seen you for nearly two weeks either," Jack said. "Aren't you overdue for a Jack O'Neill patented massage?"

Sam growled under her breath at the memory of those strong clever fingers rubbing away the kinks in her back brought on by the twins, those strong clever fingers smoothing lotion into the ever-lengthening stretch marks on her stomach. Damn, the man had skills. She shivered at the erotic memory of what had followed the massage. "As soon as you can get out of there, O'Neill; get your ass on a plane!" she ordered.

She was pretty sure she heard him snicker at that. "Yes, ma'am!" he said softly.

* * *

**Several hours later**

Daniel escorted Vala out of the briefing room, sighing when she put a hand on his butt and squeezed it. The woman just didn't know how to take 'No' or 'Get lost' for an answer. "I'll show you to your quarters," he said.

Then he saw a tall, very familiar figure heading their way. _Oh God, no!_ Jack O'Neill. And Vala Mal Doran. Either one of them was capable of creating galaxy-wide chaos on their own. But together …?

"Daniel!" Jack said exuberantly, strolling up to them. "And you must be Vala," he said.

"I am indeed," Vala purred, slipping her hand through his arm. "And who are you?"

Jack blinked, then smiled widely at Daniel. "Jack O'Neill."

"Oh, you're Jack?" Vala smiled her own wide smile. Daniel had the sudden image of being surrounded by sharks. "I've heard a lot about you, but I thought you'd be … older."

Jack gave a sudden yelp and Daniel smirked — yep; Major General Jack O'Neill had just been goosed by a former Goa'uld. "Don't let the boyish good looks fool you, Vala," he said, stepping away slightly. "I'm really very old. Not like our Daniel."

Daniel closed his eyes as Vala's hand landed once more on his own butt. How had such a good day gone bad so quickly?

* * *

_I've never written a Daniel fic before, as I have trouble giving him voice. He doesn't have such obvious personality quirks as Jack, but I love the Daniel/Vala dynamic — what I saw on 'Prometheus Unbound', anyway. I know Daniel's had a lot of 'luuuurve' interests on the show, but Vala's so different to the others. And Claudia Black (who plays Vala) is a fellow Aussie! Yay!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks for the great reviews. I'm glad people liked my take on the Jack/Vala dynamic. Because they both have a natural ability to drive poor Daniel up the wall, I thought it'd be fun to bring them together. And I'm glad people picked up on my Farscape in-joke. I couldn't resist that one, but will try not to do it again. Anyway, per demand; here is the next part._

* * *

**Several days later**

Vala Mal Doran was bored.

Insanely bored.

The last time she'd been on this planet, she'd been bound literally to one Daniel Jackson — the very attractive human she'd met when she'd hijacked the large clumsy ship he'd been on.

But now he'd gone to ground somewhere in the bowels of this mountain, and she couldn't find him. As a thief, she was very good at finding things and people that didn't want to be found, but she was finding her skills sorely lacking in this instance.

The people here had very little sense of humor and just would not cooperate when she asked where the good Doctor was.

She allowed a small smile to curl her lips when she saw another very attractive human. A lot older than Daniel, but handsome still. Jack O'Neill. Tall, gray hair and dancing brown eyes. And he had a sense of humor. Maybe there was hope for the Tauri.

"Hello, Jack," she said, placing a hand on one of her firm hips. What was that Tauri saying? _If you've got it, flaunt it._

He gave her a quick grin as well as an appreciative look up and down, but didn't seem personally affected by her as a female. "Hey, Vala," he said. "Heard you were looking for Daniel?"

"Yes." Vala effected a pout. "I thought he'd grown to like me."

Jack looked at her assessingly, then mischief lit up his face. "Oh, I'm sure he does, Vala," he said. "He's just … shy."

"Ah." Vala nodded her head. That would explain a lot about the handsome Tauri's behavior toward her. She saw a tall blonde Tauri come over to Jack. "Sam," she said to the woman.

"Vala," the other woman replied, putting a hand on her distended abdomen. "Jack; General Landry's looking for you."

"Oy!" Jack sighed, his hand going to his forehead as if he felt pain. "Remind me why I took this job, will ya?"

"Because you look very sexy in your uniform," Vala said, noting with pleasure how the blue fabric emphasized his broad shoulders and long legs.

"Excuse me?" Sam said, looking daggers at Vala. "I thought you were interested in Daniel?"

Vala shrugged. "I am, but it doesn't mean I don't have eyes," she said. She looked at the Tauri female. "You're acting like you have a claim on him."

"I do. He's mine. Get lost," Sam said, slipping an arm around Jack's waist.

"Ah." Vala smiled. She could appreciate such bluntness. "Well, congratulations." She looked again at the two Tauri — they appeared well suited to each other. "I was just flirting, Sam," she said. "You should try it sometime; it does a girl's ego wonders."

Sam smiled suddenly. "I could use an ego boost at six months gone," she admitted. "I'm going to the commissary for some ice cream if you'd like to join me." She glared fiercely at Jack. "Seeing as someone forgot to stock up last night."

Jack held up his hands in the near universal gesture of surrender. "I'm sorry, Sam," he said, then aimed a sweet smile at her. "I'll make it up to you tonight, huh?" He waggled his eyebrows. "Another massage, maybe?"

Sam shivered. "Okay; you're forgiven. You may be an ass, but you're my ass." She turned to Vala, who'd been watching this interaction with delight. Another Tauri with a sense of humor. She could come to like this world. "After you, Vala," she said, then turned to Jack. "Jack; General Landry," she prompted.

"Ah. Right." Jack cleared his throat, then turned and strode off along the corridor.

"Vala; were you looking at Jack's ass?" Sam asked after he'd turned the corner.

"What?" Vala shrugged innocently. "It's a very nice rear. Don't you think?"

Sam laughed. "Yeah," she admitted. "I never get tired of looking at it."

* * *

Daniel peered warily out of the empty lab and saw Jack strolling past, hands plunged in pockets as usual. "Jack," he hissed.

Jack looked around and smirked. "Still hiding from Vala, huh?" he asked.

Daniel pinched the bridge of his nose. "She's driving me nuts," he said. "D'you know where she is now?"

"In the commissary with Sam," his best friend replied.

"With Sam? Sam and Vala? Together?" Daniel could only imagine what the two women could come up with if they put their beautiful heads together — and it wasn't pretty. The words _destruction on an inter-galactic scale_ came to mind.

"Yep." Jack now wore a mischievous grin. "Ah, don't worry, Daniel; I'm sure Sam's talking you up very nicely."

Daniel shot Jack a death glare. "So help me, Jack; you're not funny," he said. "Anyway, aren't you expected back at the Pentagon?"

Jack stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I've taken some leave," he told Daniel. "Thought I'd spend time catching up with my good friends here at the SGC."

_Oh God. _That look in Jack's eyes — the one he used to wear when baiting Goa'uld or NID operatives — was back. Daniel had the sinking feeling that Jack was going to be no help in keeping Vala away from him. Would in fact aid and abet the alien whack-job. Jack was evil that way.

Daniel Jackson was not a happy camper. But Vala would only be here two more days. He could take two more days of this. Two more days of ducking into unused labs, having the SFs regard him as if he were nuts, Jack's incessant teasing.

And now Vala had an accomplice in her madness. As Jack would say: _Oy_!


	3. Chapter 3

_Sorry for the gap between updates. I wrote this part about ten times in the last couple of days and hated it every time. Feel better about this version, so have taken the chance and posted it._

* * *

Only one day to go. Then the alien whack-job would be heading back to … wherever the hell she'd sprung from and he'd be off to Ida.

The door to his lab opened and … yep, the alien whack-job herself sauntered in, hands stuffed into the pockets of her absurdly tight denim jeans. _Nice legs_, the guy part of Daniel commented before he could shut it up. And since when had she started putting her hands in her pockets?

Since she'd met one Major General Jack O'Neill and decided to become best buddies with him and Sam, he reminded himself with a silent groan. "Vala," he said politely. He could do polite — he only had one day more to put up with her.

"Daniel," she said, pulling her hands out of her pockets and sending a dazzling smile to a passing SF. The SF blinked then returned the smile — in a rather goofy fashion, Daniel thought.

What was it with the guys on this base? he mused. Could they not see that she was nuts? Insane? Whacko? Three fries short of a Happy Meal? All they seemed to see was the beautiful face, the long silky hair, the hot body, the … _Shut up!_, he screamed at himself.

"Is there something I can do for you?" he inquired as she plopped herself down in front of his computer.

She gave him a wide smile. "Now, there's a loaded question!" she said, then stretched her hand out to grab a framed picture. "Who's this?" she asked.

Daniel swallowed hard. It had been so many years since Sha're had died, yet a small part of him had never gotten over that loss. "Sha're," he said gruffly. She was so beautiful in that picture; so shy, so innocent.

"She's beautiful," Vala said quietly.

"Yes … she was," Daniel agreed tightly.

Vala looked at him, then put the picture gently back in its place. "I'm sorry, Daniel," she said. "I've never loved anyone like that," she added. "What was she like?"

Daniel felt a smile pull at his lips as he remembered. Sha're had been so loving, so gentle — yet merciless in her teasing of him. Especially when he attempted to grind the yufeta flour for their bread. "She was as beautiful inside as she was out," he said. "Her people were so different to mine … simple in some ways … complex in others. I think I fell in love with her the moment I saw her."

"Then you're a lucky man, Daniel," Vala said. "I'm not sure I believe in love myself — lust, definitely — but you do, and I'm glad you had that with Sha're."

Daniel just stared at her. Every time he thought he had her down as just a lying conniving nut-job, she came out with something so … profound, so sincere. Damn the woman; would he ever understand her? "Thank you," he said roughly.

She gave him another wide smile. "Don't sound so surprised, Daniel Jackson," she said. "I can be nice sometimes."

* * *

Vala looked at Daniel's blue eyes, which shimmered with a hint of remembered sadness, and decided that she much preferred him when he was mad than in this melancholy mood. For a long time, she'd assumed that he was naturally hot-tempered and impatient, until Sam had told her that Jack was the only other person who could inspire those reactions in him. Vala was flattered to realize that she could have such a profound effect on a mild-mannered linguist.

And the fact that he looked taller, broader and more powerful when angry — making him look far more sexy — had nothing to do with it. Absolutely not.

She snorted to herself at that. She could almost hear Jack saying 'And denial ain't just a river in Egypt'. Wherever Egypt was. She pushed a hand through her hair then leaned over to him. "So … what're you doing?"

"I was running a timeline Boolean search for the various cults of …".

"Never mind," Vala cut in quickly. "Maybe I don't want to know after all." She was far from unintelligent — a thief did not survive long by being stupid — but she knew that Daniel was far smarter than her.

Daniel gave her a small smile, the melancholy lifting slightly from his eyes. "So … you were only asking because you were bored."

Vala shrugged. "Pretty much," she admitted, wondering what he'd look like if he were ever to smile fully at her. She'd bet he smiled at Sha're like that, and found herself envying the unknown woman. She shook her head quickly and dispelled the rogue thoughts. Vala Mal Doran did not become attached to people — particularly not handsome linguists with beautiful blue eyes. _Aaaarrrggghhh!_

"Hey; you okay?" Daniel asked, sounding worried.

She shook her head. "I'm fine, Daniel," she said. "I have a bad habit of arguing with myself." She laughed lightly. "But you already thought I was insane, didn't you?"

A light flush shot up his cheekbones. "Ah … yes," he offered. He shrugged those broad shoulders. "C'mon, Vala; I first met you when you single-handedly hijacked the Prometheus, for god's sake! You'd have to be a little nuts to do that!"

Vala laughed again; she had to admire his honesty. Unlike many of the men she'd met in her life, Daniel Jackson seemed to have very little guile. "Point taken," she admitted. She ran a hand through her hair, pleased to note that his eyes followed the movement. Despite his many protestations to the contrary, he was physically attracted to her. "So, Daniel; have you ever wondered what might have happened if we'd remained … bound?"

"I would've killed you."

Vala winced. All right; so there was such a thing as too much honesty. "Excuse me?" she said.

"You drive me nuts, Vala," he explained. "You lie, you cheat, you steal, you connive. You're a … a whack-job!" He shuddered. "The idea of being tied to you the rest of my life is horrifying."

"I see," Vala said, shocked to find that something in her chest hurt. She'd never truly realized that having your feelings hurt could cause a corresponding physical pain. But she knew better than to let him know. Never would she let anyone have that kind of power over her. She gave him a wide insincere smile and got up gracefully. "I'm bored again," she announced arrogantly. "And seeing as you're not likely to entertain me …".

"I'm not," he assured her.

"I'll go and find something else to do," she finished.

* * *

"Whatcha thinking about?" Jack inquired, coming in from the bathroom wearing just a towel around his waist and rubbing absently at his wet hair with a smaller towel. _God … yummy. So very, very yummy._

Sam O'Neill blinked and forced her mind out of the gutter it seemed to occupy lately. She'd read somewhere that women sometimes got an increased libido during the second trimester. That was putting it mildly. She'd never been so wanton in her life. "I bumped into Vala today," she said.

Jack gave her a grin. "Ah. And how is our favorite alien nut-farm today?"

"I think she was crying, Jack," Sam said. "She just brushed past me and said she didn't want to talk about it. And she didn't even flirt with Cam."

Jack looked at her. "You think Daniel's ticked her off?" he said. "She's kinda stuck on him, and he doesn't seem to realize it."

"If she'd drop the act for more than five seconds, maybe he would," Sam said. "But …". She sighed and stretched, knowing there was nothing she could do for Daniel and Vala. They would have to work this out between themselves.

Sam watched her husband dry his hair with a shiver of pleasure. She liked watching him. The way his muscles bunched as he moved, the way his hair never stayed in place, the gleam in his brown eyes as he saw her watching him. She'd been with him for just over a year — she no longer had to hide her appreciation of his … ahem, virtues.

"Ja-ack …," she cooed, patting the bed.

He smirked. That smirk that had driven her wild with anger in the past but now drove her wild in an entirely different way. "Again?" he said.

"Yep," she said, pulling the sheets off to reveal the crimson satin teddy Vala had persuaded her to buy at the mall the previous day. Vala had been fascinated by the concept of mall-hopping and had purchased several items of lingerie for herself. Sam didn't even want to know where she'd gotten the money.

"Wow." Jack's eyes bugged out as he saw the skimpy piece of nothing. There was nothing tasteless about it, but it showed off her expanded bust rather nicely and skimmed over her abdomen and hips to end several inches above her knees.

Sam gave him her own smirk as he practically bounced into the bed — _so much for old man!_ — and covered her lips with his.

Daniel and Vala were instantly forgotten.

* * *

**The next day**

Vala watched as the Stargate activated, the wormhole appearing with its customary whoosh, then gripped the backpack she'd been given by Jack to carry her new purchases. Vala Mal Doran traveled light, but she now had some possessions she did not want to part with. Several very sexy items of nightwear — that she'd never gotten to model for Daniel — included.

The man himself stood in the embarkation room with Sam and Jack, his arms folded against his chest. She sighed slightly. Such a nice chest … why did he feel the need to hide it with that over-sized blue jacket?

"Well … it was good to see you all again," she said, then smiled at Jack and Sam. A genuine smile, not her usual one. She'd never had friends before, but she felt that these two Tauri had become her friends during the last few days. "And it was nice to meet you, Jack … Sam."

Sam came over and Vala was shocked when the blonde woman pulled her into a fierce hug. "Take care of yourself, Vala," she murmured.

Vala thought she heard Jack mutter something about hormones, but ignored him. "I always do," she said.

Sam tightened her grip momentarily, then pushed something into her hand. Vala looked at it. A long slim device that looked something like a … a remote control. "What's this?" she asked.

"A GDO," Sam said. She pushed some buttons on the device. "Just press that combination and we'll open the iris for you. So … you have no excuse for not coming back."

Vala was stunned. _By all the false gods._ She'd never expected this. "Thank you," she muttered, surprised to find her throat closing.

Jack stepped forward. "Hey; enough with the mushy stuff!" he teased, as a tear shimmered in Sam's eye. "Be good, ya hear me?" he told Vala. "For an ex snake-head, you're pretty cool."

Vala rolled her eyes, the tender moment having been thoroughly trampled upon. "And for a sarcastic, wise-cracking jarhead, you're … pretty cool, too," she replied.

"I'm not a damn Marine, for cryin' out loud!" Jack complained, then looked around at the chuckling SFs. They immediately fell silent under his death glare.

Then she turned to Daniel, who now sported a wide grin at Jack's indignation. "So, I'll see you again I hope," she said. "And I hope you enjoy your … dig."

"Uh … thanks," Daniel said. "Take care of yourself," he added.

"And you," she replied. She stepped over to him and ran a hand sensuously from his chin, down over his chest and to his waistband. "I had a good time," she murmured, "but we could have had a great time, if only you'd been inclined."

She dug in her pocket and handed him an envelope. "I think you'll need this back," she added, then strolled up the ramp, took a breath and stepped into the wormhole.

* * *

Daniel sighed with relief as the wormhole deactivated. He could finally breathe easily for the first time in days. Even better; Jack was due back in DC in a few hours, so the teasing would go down to practically zero.

"So … what she give you, Daniel?" Jack asked.

Daniel shrugged, then opened the envelope. A gold-colored card fell into his hand. A very familiar gold-colored card. "My credit card!" he breathed. That little witch had taken his credit card!

"Ah … mystery explained," Sam said with a chuckle.

Daniel closed his eyes. All that mall-hopping she and Sam had done the last few days — how much of it had actually been on his dime? _Ohhh, she had so better get her ass back here, because I'm going to kick it from here to Othalla!_ he vowed.

Then he smiled suddenly. She was a thief, a liar, a certifiable whack-job. But, God help him, he'd actually grown to like her.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: I never mean any offense to the Marine Corps when I call them jarheads in my fiction. I just remember that line from 'Broca Divide' when Jack called Makepeace's SG-3 Marines jarheads and it tickled me. I figure with the way Makepeace called Jack 'fly-boy' that there's some kind of relatively good-natured rivalry going on and I like to capitalize on it._

_A/N 2: I'm still worried that my Daniel/Vala interactions are off, but I have only seen Prometheus Unbound in my own defense. So I fleshed out Vala's character in my own way. I didn't want to write a whole back-story for her, as that might have been covered in S9, but just hinted at possible vulnerability. So forgive me if this doesn't sit right with you._

* * *

**Three months later**

Daniel Jackson had seen Jack in a restless mood before. The man was nearly always restless, after all. In fact, if you could harness his nervous energy, there'd be no need for ZPMs to get to the Pegasus Galaxy.

But there was restless, and there was restless. "I just … I should be in there," Jack said, not stopping his stalking from one end of the Infirmary to the other. His eyes were wild, his hair even wilder, and he hadn't shaved for two days. The nursing staff had soon learned to make a hole for him, and were currently working around him.

After all, you did not cross a Major General. Especially one who was about to become a father.

"It's been thirty hours, Daniel!" Jack burst out. "I have to be in there with her."

"She indicated most strongly that you should stay here, O'Neill," Teal'c said, getting up and standing in front of Jack so that he was forced to stop.

Yeah; she'd bitten him on the hand when he'd tried to soothe her. And had sworn crudely in several languages Daniel had never realized she knew. He'd refused to translate the last insult; a little disturbed that he even knew what it meant. But he didn't think it was physically possible to do what she'd threatened.

"Jack!" A sharp cry came from the makeshift delivery unit and Carolyn Lam poked her dark head out from between the curtains.

"General O'Neill, sir; your wife wants you," she said, pushing a hand through her hair.

Jack shoved his own hand through his hair, then squared his shoulders and disappeared behind the curtains.

Daniel heard him murmur something to Sam; she murmured something back. Then it was silent.

Deathly silent.

Daniel looked over at his other best friend. "Thirty hours is a long time," he said, able to admit his worry now that Jack had gone.

Teal'c nodded his head. "It is, but Colonel O'Neill is a strong woman — she will prevail," he said.

As if to prove his words, Sam gave a muted shriek, then a lusty yell rang through the Infirmary. Jack's untidy silver head poked out through the curtains. "A boy!" he yelped before disappearing once more.

Daniel punched Teal'c in the shoulder; the usually eloquent linguist had no words for the joy he felt at the moment. "Yes!" he exulted. Teal'c just looked at him with a raised eyebrow and a small smirk.

"Unauthorized off-world activation!" the PA blared out. "All defense units on stand-by!"

* * *

Vala Mal Doran stepped off of the ramp and smiled beatifically at the group of SFs. "Stand down, boys," she said mockingly, waving her … what was it again? Oh, right … GDO.

She placed a hand on a hip and looked up at the control room, seeing the large form of General Landry standing there. A good solid leader with a slightly acidic sense of humor — she liked him quite well, although not as much as Jack and Daniel, her two favorite Tauri males.

Speaking of whom … "Where's Daniel?" she inquired sweetly of one of the SFs.

"In the Infirmary, ma'am!" he replied smartly.

Vala closed her eyes. He hadn't injured himself again, had he? He was quite accident-prone, after all. "Is he well?" she said, a little more anxiety showing in her tone than she was comfortable with. Why was she so drawn to the Tauri? It couldn't just be because of his handsome face and strong body. She'd felt sexual attraction on many occasions — capitalized on her own attractiveness — but her feelings toward Daniel were different somehow.

That was worrying.

"Oh no, ma'am," the SF was quick to reassure her. "Colonel O'Neill is giving birth and she wanted all her friends there."

"Sam?" She looked up at General Landry, telegraphing her wish to go the Infirmary.

The older man looked down at her, then leaned into his mike. "Report to the Infirmary, Vala; we'll debrief later," he said.

Vala sent him a dazzling smile of thanks, then headed out of the embarkation room and to the Infirmary.

It was surprising how much she had missed this place in the last few months. She was a wanderer by nature, never staying in one place too long, always searching out the next new thrill. Yet she'd come to enjoy Sam's friendship, Jack's sense of humor, Daniel's odd mixture of reticence and quick temper.

She walked into the Infirmary and slid her arms around Daniel's waist from behind, kissing the back of his neck. "Hello, handsome," she breathed.

He yelped and turned round. "Vala!" he said. "Uh … what're you doing here?"

"What?" she asked innocently. "A girl can't drop by and catch up with old friends?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Friends don't steal credit cards and go mall-hopping," he said.

Vala shrugged her shoulders. "I was bored," she explained.

Not surprisingly, Daniel was less than impressed with that explanation. "I'm not in the mood for one of your little head-games, Vala," he said, gripping her elbow with a surprisingly hard hand and leading her out into the corridor. "We're not here for your amusement. Perhaps you were a Goa'uld for so long you've forgotten that."

That hurt, but she wasn't going to let him see that. "I have none of your Earth currency, Daniel; how did you think I was going to purchase items?"

"You could have asked," Daniel said, gripping her arm even more tightly if possible. "I would have given you some money just to get you out of my hair. Or Jack. For some reason, Jack actually likes you. He would've helped you out." He looked her in the eyes. "But no … you have to mess with people; lie, cheat and steal. And you wonder why no-one wants to be around you?"

Vala stared at the handsome Tauri, surprised at how badly his cutting words hurt her. She could usually laugh off people's dislike of her — after all, they were perfectly entitled to like or dislike her as they chose. So, why could she not do that this time? Was Daniel's opinion that important to her?

Unfortunately, it seemed so.

* * *

Daniel let go of the infuriating woman's arm, not quite sure where all the anger had come from, and stalked back into the Infirmary. He was a little surprised when Vala didn't immediately follow him back in, but had to admit he was relieved also. She was such a … such a …

_Beautiful, sexy woman?_

Big, honkin' pain in the _mikta_! Daniel found the Goa'uld terminology very apt, considering who he was describing. He nudged his large Jaffa friend. "Anything more yet, Teal'c?" he asked.

"You must be patient, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c replied. "It has only been a few minutes since the first child was born — Doctor Lam indicated that it may be another hour before the second one is delivered."

Another muted cry came from Sam, then another indignant wail sounded out.

"Or perhaps not," Teal'c added a trifle lamely.

One silver head poked out of the curtains again. "A girl!" Jack said, his grin so large it looked like his face was about to split in half.

"Congratulations, O'Neill," Teal'c said.

"Yeah, Jack; you deserve it," Daniel said. "Tell Sam we'll come see her soon, huh?" he added. "I think you guys deserve some time alone together."

"Right," Jack said and disappeared once more.

Daniel and Teal'c looked at each other. "A damn good day, huh?" Daniel said from under a massive yawn. God … if he was tired from the long delivery, imagine how Sam must be feeling right now!

"Agreed, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said. He dipped his head as they passed Vala, who was standing near the doorway looking remarkably subdued. "Hello again," he greeted the woman.

"Teal'c," she said. She aimed a small smile at Daniel. "So … a boy and a girl? I bet Jack is thrilled."

Daniel was willing to accept an olive branch, especially as he had the uncomfortable feeling he might have gone too far and hurt her feelings. Yes; she drove him insane, but she didn't deserve to be treated like a common household pest. "I think he's going to be grinning like the Cheshire Cat for days to come!" he said.

"I will bid you good night, Daniel Jackson, Vala," Teal'c said. He gave another minute bow of his head, then disappeared swiftly along the corridor.

Vala looked at Daniel quizzically. "Are cats not a domesticated animal here? How do they smile?"

Daniel had to chuckle at that one. "Right, sorry," he said. "It's from a book written in our 19th century. It was considered quite subversive in its time. It's about a little girl who finds herself in a strange realm and what she goes through there."

Vala looked at him thoughtfully. "I … see," she said. "I think this strange realm is birth, Daniel," she added. "You don't imagine anything about life actually makes sense, do you?"

Daniel considered that one. The woman had a point. After everything he had gone through in the last decade, he sometimes felt like all he had was more questions. "Hmmm," he grunted, deciding that he liked this thoughtful Vala. She was a lot more intelligent than she liked to act and had an interesting viewpoint on life. He squeezed the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. "I need coffee," he said. "You want to join me?"

Vala smiled at him. Not the usual wide smile that she gave but a softer, more gentle one. "All right," she said. She eyed him as they walked along the corridors. "I am … sorry about taking your credit card," she said. "It didn't occur to me that you might be willing to help."

Somehow, Daniel thought he'd found the chink in Vala's armor. It had never occurred to her that people might want to help her; to share with her. The Goa'uld had taken from her; she had taken from everyone else. She felt alone. Daniel had been lonely for much of his life before that eventful trip to Abydos — he wouldn't wish it on anyone. "It's all right," he said, ushering her into the elevator. "So … what did you buy?"

She gave him a slightly wider smile and patted the backpack Jack had given her. "They're in here," she said. "Maybe you'll get to see them tonight?"

He blinked at her, then punched the button to take them up several levels — to where the commissary was. "Sorry?" he asked.

She snaked her arms around him and punched the stop button, then nuzzled the back of his neck. "Nightwear, Doctor," she breathed. "Soft, revealing nightwear in a variety of colors and designs."

"Oh. Uhm …". Her soft breath on the back of his neck and her curvy form pressing against him reminded him just how long it had been since he'd last been with a woman. And even though she was a complete nut-job, she was a beautiful, sexy one too.

He turned in her embrace and looked into the dark eyes. "You know; you've done nothing but infuriate me and confuse me since we met," he told her. He brushed some hair out of her eyes. "But there's … something about you." He pressed a kiss to her lips, then gave a muffled yelp as her hands slid down his back to squeeze his butt.

She was a thief.

She was a liar.

She was a certifiable whack-job.

But she was his thief, liar and certifiable whack-job.

**THE END**

* * *

_Thanks for all the great reviews and for your tolerance of any S9 details I might have flubbed (apparently Sam and Vala met during Season 9. Mea culpa!). I think I'll stick to pre-S9 or AUs for the future. Toodles!_


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